Overcoming Challenges

First know I'm not in the A-Z blogging challenge, thus my non-use of any "G" words.  Although, "Growth" could definitely work for this post.  If you asked me 6 months ago where I though I'd be today, I'd either say, "Happily writing and querying with my friend," or I'd say, "AGENTED!"  Never did I imagine I'd be where I am now, which is partner-less, knee deep in work, and not having opened up either of my own manuscripts for 4 weeks.  Writing has most definitely been pushed to the back burner - in fact, the burner's been turned off.  And you know what?  I'm okay with that.  It's just not the right time for writing in my life.  And you know what else?  I thank my lucky stars I am writing partner-less.  Do you know how guilty I'd feel if all of a sudden I couldn't pull my weight because my life became too hectic?  "I'm sorry" would be the phrase of the day - scratch that - hour.  I certainly didn't believe this at the time, but seriously, everything happens for a reason.  Not to get too religious, but God knows what he's doing.  You may not understand his rationale when you're ready to drive a fork through your eye, but when you look back (eye in tact), it suddenly makes sense.

So what is this work that's got my head spinning and bringing me close to tears right in front of my co-workers?  Ugh.  The SEC.  Because of everything that's happened the past couple years, they've created new regulations for investment adviser firms to follow.  And that effects me how?  I'm the licensing administrator for one of these firms.  I knew it was going to be crazy back in December, but not this crazy...  Just say the letters "ADV" and I immediately start twitching.  And throw in a regulatory audit at the same time, and I'm being twisted this way and that like a leaf in an autumn breeze.  And here's where the guilt (ooh another "G" word!) comes in.  Not only do I feel guilty working instead of taking care of my children at home, but now I feel guilty at work, because instead of working 10+ hour days like my peers, I have to leave at 4:00 on the dot to get the kids from daycare.  No matter how you slice it, a working mom's life is full of guilty feelings. 

After 12 years at this firm, I have never been busier.  Do you know I peed for the first time at 12:30 yesterday?  I hadn't realized I was holding it all that time.  And normally being a noon lunch eater, I was wondering why I was lightheaded at 1:30.  After putting my meal in the microwave, I forgot about it until 2:00!  I'm surprised I know which way is up and which way is down and honestly, I don't even know how I'm functioning.  I can tell you my hour commute home is spent attempting to decompress before facing the craziness of 3 little boys, with zero help from a husband who now has to work until 9:00 pm every day.   

BUT - I can't let myself feel overwhelmed.  I just can't.  This is a testament to me and my abilities.  I have to keep it together.  You know how I'm looking at all the madness in my life right now?  It's a challenge God's put in my path to make me a better person on coming out of it.  The stakes have been raised.  But with high stakes, the sense of accomplishment is bigger, the pride greater, and the respect of peers earned tenfold.  There will be an end to all this.  I'll be stronger.  And I'll realize what God's plan was all along.

Have you ever faced a great challenge in your life, only to come out of it on the other side the better for it?